BREAKING NEWS: Halo 3 Delayed Indefinitely

The Krooze Nest

Developer Claims Delay is Due to Online Glitches

Kirkland, Washington – Mere days before the release of the highly anticipated Halo 3 for the Xbox 360, developer says the game is being delayed indefinately, due to issues with the online multiplayer.

“We are committed to our fans and we’re committed to the Halo brand, and we simply will not release the game until we’ve dealt with these issues,” says Joseph Staten of Bungie, who speculated that the glitches are viral, as they don’t appear anywhere other than the online multiplayer portion of the game.

The game, as the flagship title for the Xbox 36o, will be a major loss in Microsoft’s holiday revenues, but the company says it supports the developer’s decision to not release the game. Most retailers that we spoke with said that they will issue refunds or store credits on Halo 3’s estimated 1 million presales to customers who request them.

The gitch, which only affects the online portion of the game, is said to be audio-based, and is most likely the work of a talented hacker. It involves annoying high-pitched screeching sounds that become intolerable after just a few minutes.

“What it sounds like is… something resembling a human being, with the most obnoxious voice you can possibly imagine,” says Mark Fife, game tester for Bungie, “the [virus] incoherently babbles offensive nonsense and normal communication between players becomes virtually impossible.”

Bungie, who is at a loss for solutions, allowed the Krooze Nest investigators to play the game momentarily in order to experience the glitch. Immediately, we were informed by a hellish, crackling voice that we were going to be “poned” and that our mothers “suck fat nigger cock.” We had heard enough, and quickly handed the Xbox headset back to the Bungie representative .

Bungie says they aren’t sure when fans should expect the game to release. They say the glitch could be an issue with the game’s fundamental code and that the game might have to be rewritten from scratch. When inquired as to whether the reported glitch might actually be some little bastard child with unsupervised access to online games, Bungie responded by saying, “no one’s that annoying.”

Krooze Nest Exclusive

The Krooze Nest, News you can t rust


~ by Krooze L-Roy on September 21, 2007.

10 Responses to “BREAKING NEWS: Halo 3 Delayed Indefinitely”

  1. Ewe knead too halve sumtheeng, sutch az aye linq, en witch ewe cannes laybull “Krooze Kontrol”.

  2. Thanks for the concise and well-worded advice, loyal viewer.

    Turns out Bungie decided to release the game after all, bugs and all. Bill Gates must’ve really turned the heat on. He is the Antichrist, you know?

  3. this game i feel is the mostt rocking game available , here

  4. are there any new games available ?….

  5. any other halo games to be made halo4

  6. contact me on

  7. sorry i didnt put my name on this that last reply was me

  8. halo3 is cool

  9. horton hears the who sucks

  10. OMG a Kitty!

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